S3 - Catching Up in the New Year

[00:00:12] Speaker A: Ready? [00:00:12] Speaker B: Go. [00:00:18] Speaker A: Banger. [00:00:19] Speaker B: Yeah. Baby shark. Who knew that would be worldwide sensation? You know, honestly. Hi, everybody. Good morning. This is Kelly. [00:00:28] Speaker A: This is Kefler. Man, we're really good at that. [00:00:31] Speaker B: Yeah, we're getting better. Yeah. Jaro really scooched the boot. Oh, wait, this is coming out before that episode. So spoiler. [00:00:40] Speaker A: Easter egg. [00:00:40] Speaker B: My bad. [00:00:42] Speaker A: Actually, it's good. You were just like kind of singing the baby shark song. I've had that snail disco song. [00:00:49] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:00:50] Speaker A: That is a banger. [00:00:52] Speaker B: Yes. [00:00:52] Speaker A: Disco snail San Francisco. [00:00:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Something about their like, slimy something. Slimy tails or something. Silver trails, Silver trail. [00:01:03] Speaker A: Sure. I've been low key obsessed with that on my workout. Like, I'll do 20 or minutes or whatever of cardio and then that song will come on and I'm like, here we go. Get up the zone. Get your heart rate up. Just go, Snails. Just go. What? [00:01:16] Speaker B: Yeah, for anyone. You can totally google that song and it pops up. It's actually so cute. But our friend showed us this summer when we were went camping. It was like a sunset and it came on someone's like, phone. We were like, listening to music or whatever, and one of our friends had like, been listening to it with her daughter. And so she knew every word and she had all these like, dance moves for every part of the song. So it was like the most ideal sunset. Beautiful, picturesque, with all your friends. And then our friend is singing Disco snail. So it was pretty idyllic. [00:01:43] Speaker A: A memorable sunset for sure. That was really beautiful. [00:01:47] Speaker B: That was a crazy day. But that's a story for another whole other story. [00:01:52] Speaker A: Welcome, everybody. Welcome to Candidly 30. [00:01:55] Speaker B: Yeah, round four. Five this summer. Is it five? Yeah, round five for the party Barge this year. I'm so excited. I don't know if I told the pod actually. I got on like the like, executive list basically for Cove Palisade. So that's like the marina that we go out of for the Party Barge and we have been renting the party barges from. I got an email, like at the beginning of December. I still haven't followed through. So my bad, because I don't really want to spend that much money right now. But I got on this like, exclusive list of like, being able to like, secure dates in like a certain boat before everyone else because they do fill up pretty quick. Usually I do it in like January, February, and like, a date is still open at that point. But yeah, I got the like, exclusive email in December being like, you are on the list now. Like, please submit everything by December 1st. And I was like, holy. I haven't even, like, thought about. I can't think about July next year on December 1st. That's, like, crazy, but super fun. [00:02:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm really excited. I had a. I had a really. Yeah. Last year. I don't know. We'll see the Party Barge. I had a great time. Not the day of. But the fall. Like, you know, the next day I was like, actually, that was a really good time. But that's a whole other story for a different time. My question to you is, like, I. Because I want to get a lot done this summer. Like, last summer I was working, and then the summer before that, we were, like, kind of doing a lot of house projects or whatever. At what point do you start putting together concrete plans for the following summer? And do you plan March all the way through, like, September? Or do you prioritize pieces and, like, things that you want to get done and then kind of fill the rest of the time up with other stuff? Like, how do you approach this? [00:03:33] Speaker B: So I think that my life is kind of dictate or summer life is kind of dictated by music festival. So, like, we have Strawberry, of course. Like, we have Vulcan Forage. We have Sawtooth. So, like, those are, like, my, like, very important ones that, like, I cannot miss. [00:03:48] Speaker A: And then negotiables. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Yeah. And then everything else kind of just, like, falls in between us. So, like, my birthday is also in May, so, like, we know that weekend is, like, full. And then I feel like good backpacking doesn't. Well, if we have snow, it hasn't. Oh, my God. It's only snowed. Like, it snowed this week, thankfully, for the first time. [00:04:04] Speaker A: But, like, I'm terrified. [00:04:05] Speaker B: Yeah. So winter. Yeah, it's been a scary winter. I don't know. So. [00:04:10] Speaker A: Did I say summer? [00:04:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Anyway. [00:04:15] Speaker B: But yeah, so then, like, by, like, July, I would feel comfortable backpacking in, like, I don't know, any of the surrounding areas. Washington, Oregon, Idaho, whatever. But other than that, it's kind of just like, fly by the seat of the pants. I know, like, other friends birthdays and things like that. Lindsay's in August, and my friend Alexis is in April. And so it kind of just like, falls out really fast for me. So then I only have, like, I know which weekends that I'm available to, like, plan other things and do other things. And so that's the ones that I, like, reach out to people about plans or I tell people I'm available to, like, plan this, that, or the other. So, yeah, I also just feel like A lot more available this year because I don't have the GMT and Italy planned. And so I'm really excited to actually do some hiking and camping and stuff this year. I don't know what I want to do for my birthday yet. So I mean, I have not planning. [00:05:07] Speaker A: A party cuz I have it in my head to like plan well. [00:05:09] Speaker B: Yeah, well, you have to come no matter what we do. But I haven't. I fully, like wanted to do a whole Survivor party again because it is the like 50th season that's coming out in February and it would kind of end around that time, but it just seems like a lot of work right now. [00:05:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:05:29] Speaker B: So, yeah, I don't know. And like I have a friend's wedding this summer and her bachelorette party and then another friend's having a baby. And so just like. Yeah, there's just like things that happen so quickly that. Yeah, it just like fills up really quick. I feel like right now I'm probably full from the end of April through the end of June at this point. And so that's just. That's just how the like cookie crumble. So, yeah, definitely need to get our trip on. On the books for what we want. [00:05:59] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, I had my holiday party last night, so I got in front of Haley, my cousin that lives here. That was really lovely to just like have girls night out and get away from husbands and kids and connect again because I hadn't seen her since before the holidays. So we were like talking about Christmas and their travels and they just got over the flu. I feel like a lot of families have been dealing with the flu, which I feel awful. [00:06:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:21] Speaker A: Anyway, and I was talking to her about camping because her kids are kind of a little bit at that point where they can start doing overnight camping. [00:06:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:29] Speaker A: Yeah. So, like, I want to do probably three or four days at Waldo and I'll get like probably two campsites and. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Then definitely book that now because campsites go so fast. [00:06:40] Speaker A: Yeah. I think I want to do two campsites and then I wanted. There's a dispersed campsite that's like across the river, but you have to like get in a kayaker. Like you have to get there. So I want to figure out how to get a kayak if people have or paddle board. [00:06:53] Speaker B: We all have paddle boards. Yeah. [00:06:56] Speaker A: I was thinking about buying like an inflatable one or getting one on like Facebook Marketplace or something. But if anybody has one that they don't use or that they don't mind me borrowing every so Often I'd love to do that. And then I want to get into mountain biking. There's supposed to be like a lot of good stuff in. [00:07:11] Speaker B: I've been mean for a couple of years too. [00:07:13] Speaker A: I don't have a mountain bike or anything. [00:07:15] Speaker B: So like, yeah, maybe I want to. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Go just check out the trail first and then get the Equ. But there's a lot of like I want. Because you can do a lot of dispersed camping in Oregon, which I haven't really done a lot of, which I think I'd like to do. Definitely by Waldo. Clear Lake is supposed to be really close to that area. So I want to go check that out. And then I want to go do stuff on the east side of the state. So closer to like Idaho and then Wallawas and stuff. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, stuff like that. [00:07:41] Speaker A: That's kind of my plan, but but. [00:07:42] Speaker B: Also for like camping. Just like book a weekend and then text people and say, hey, I booked this weekend. Like put on your calendar and then people know in advance and then they won't play any weekend. And that's just how you do it. [00:07:53] Speaker A: Yeah, Waldo, definitely. That's on my, like, that's my first thing that I want to do. And then I'll probably like look around and see what's available on the east side of Oregon or like east Washington. Cool. [00:08:03] Speaker B: I still haven't been to the desert. What's it called? I can't think anyways, but there's like the Steens out there, the Steen Mountains, and then there's like a desert all around and there's like hot springs out there and Yeah, I still haven't gone in that area. [00:08:17] Speaker A: Maybe this will be like the year of the hot spring and we'll just. [00:08:20] Speaker B: Like go check out a bunch of. [00:08:21] Speaker A: Different ones because we went to the ones in. What's it called? [00:08:24] Speaker B: Umpqua. [00:08:25] Speaker A: The Umpqua ones. And there's supposed to be a few of them in Mount Hood that's like not very far from me. And then the Berry Trail that Lindsay did last year. [00:08:33] Speaker B: That. [00:08:34] Speaker A: That looks like a really fun thing to do. [00:08:35] Speaker B: So I'm kind of born very much so. I'd like to do that. [00:08:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I have. I'm going through like today and kind of like planning out what we want to do for the summer. And I can't spend a ton of money, so like, I have to get a little bit ahead of it and like plan so that we don't have to last minute decisions about whatever. So yeah, that's kind of what I'M doing today and then I'm planning out the rest of our Kiddoly 30. [00:08:58] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. It's really a professional being a guest. [00:09:02] Speaker A: Let me know. Also we want to have like listener questions and we're going to do. I think last year we did a really good job of our social media posts, but this year we're going to do an even better job. It's just going to get bigger and better every year. [00:09:15] Speaker B: I don't know if you guys can tell, but like this audio is so much better. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Oh my God. Thank God. [00:09:23] Speaker B: So your girl got a different computer so we can finally record and I think things are going up. I think we're moving up from here because this is so much easier and so much more enjoyable to record. Like, honestly, I feel like if we wanted to, if we had time, potentially we could go back to every week. Yeah, because like last year it was just such a pain to record that we were like recording in advance and because it would take so long to like edit and everything because our audio is always so bad. So yeah, I mean, obviously that's a conversation for Kay and I to have. I just threw that out on the open webs. So I apologize. But yeah, it's just like one of those things where it's just so much more enjoyable that I feel like it would be a lot better if. Yeah. [00:10:08] Speaker A: Anyway, I would be interested to hear from people who'd been listening since like your brother, your dad or like Vince listens to us. Sam listens to us pretty consistently. Lindsay listens to us pretty consistently. Like to see if there's a big difference between our recordings last year and the year before to like this year. So maybe we'll come back at the end of the summer and like do a poll or something. But yeah, I can already tell like you're not frozen talking over each other. [00:10:35] Speaker B: Gosh, it's crazy. [00:10:37] Speaker A: It's so great. [00:10:38] Speaker B: Speaking of the last like New Year's episode was still on my other computer and at my house. And so yeah, I mean Keith did an excellent job editing so you couldn't really tell. That was like great audio. But also Keeler took a lot of herself out of that episode so I sounded like a tool. So mom even like pointed it out. So. [00:11:01] Speaker A: Okay. That's also like one of the way benefits of being somebody like the person who does all the editing you can kind of like take. Because I cringe. I still cringe every time I hear myself go off on stuff that I like obviously have no business talking about. So at Least I could just take that out. But it does kind of like, let you talk a little bit more. Even your mom was like, kelly's talking way too much in this episode. [00:11:24] Speaker B: I know. Yeah. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Anyway, I had a whole fire horse, like, die track thing. So glad that that didn't make it out there. So embarrassing. [00:11:32] Speaker B: No, that's cute. Anyway, just had to put that little thing out there in the universe because we probably will listen to our, like, New Year's resolutions episodes like, every year and, like, refresh and, like, try to make ourselves better and whatever. [00:11:44] Speaker A: We should listen to them in, like, June and July too. Not just, like in that, you know, we should do like a mid year check in. [00:11:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Recap and just see how we're doing. Yeah, that's a good idea for sure. [00:11:54] Speaker A: Anyway, what are we talking about today? [00:11:56] Speaker B: We were just gonna do a little chit chatty, a little updates, and then we're gonna do a little game and maybe some listener questions. We had some responses from people just randomly in text message form. So we were gonna answer those and just see how it goes. So this is all at the top of our brain, so don't judge us too hard. We didn't plan anything out. Yeah, exactly. So you know us. We haven't changed. We haven't planned anything. Are you kidding? So, no, that's not. We're just happy to be here on a Sunday morning. It's so lovely during Sunday mornings. [00:12:28] Speaker A: We spent the first hour, like, chit chatting and talking and then we've got some coffee. It's just kind of like a little lovely, slow morning. So kick it off with our first hot topic or like our first thing that we're gonna chat about. [00:12:39] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Do I know. I thought you had all of them. I don't know. [00:12:42] Speaker A: Oh, I'm sorry. Or we're doing the game first. [00:12:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I thought we were. Yeah. [00:12:46] Speaker A: Okay, cool. Let me grab the game from my other side of the screen. Okay, so this game, which one are we gonna do? Don't worry, we'll take all this stuff. [00:12:56] Speaker B: Out then and now or whatever. I thought that's the one we were gonna do. [00:13:00] Speaker A: So we've got a couple of different games, but I think the one that would be really fun this morning is more of an association game and it's called then versus Now. So for each word, each host. So Kelly's probably going to start first and we'll switch off or whatever makes sense. You're going to give me the meaning of the word that you had at 15 or 16 or whatever. And like what does that mean to you now? Now that we're like in our 30s and in serious relationships and blah blah, blah. So I think it's really important right off the like bat here to know that Kelly doesn't know any of the words. They're all from me. So I've had some time to like kind of think about it an extra 30 seconds, but this is like flying straight from the seat of your pants. [00:13:46] Speaker B: Hell yeah. [00:13:47] Speaker A: Okay, here we go. We're start with a really easy one. Not like there are some other ones here that are very deep. Yeah, okay. [00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah, let's not go super deep right now. [00:13:57] Speaker A: Let's try it now. We're going to, you know, the world is already as hectic as it is. We're going to make this light hearted and fun and we're not going to like take it too seriously. [00:14:05] Speaker B: Can you hear me eating a blueberry? I'm so sorry. Whoa. I just bit. [00:14:09] Speaker A: No. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Can you hear me? Okay, great. [00:14:10] Speaker A: Can you hear stuff on my side? [00:14:13] Speaker B: I did hear the crackle. [00:14:14] Speaker A: Yeah, he's like walking. My husband's up because I'm downstairs and he's walking upstairs and my house is built in the 60s, so. [00:14:23] Speaker B: Yeah, that's actually pretty loud. [00:14:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Also my microphone picks up a lot of shit. But anyway. Okay, okay, let's get this started. So the first word that we're going to start with is home. So what did that mean to you when you were 15 versus you in your 30s or where you're at right now? It's just meant to be like reflective. Not too, not too intense of a topic. [00:14:46] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Okay. I would say. I don't know if it's changed too much for me. Home to me was like Yosemite national park and just like nature and small town mountains and just like my family, just like my immediate family, my brother and my parents because we were always just had each other. I feel like now to me still home is Yosemite. Even though my parents no longer live there and I no longer live there. But I do still live in like the mountains and everything and like I'm excited about calling this place home. And it's just like growing and getting better every year. But yeah, I have been here for, in December, mid December was, is four years. So I feel like like that is a good enough length of time to like start feeling like you actually go somewhere, you know what I mean? So I feel like just in the years to come it's gonna get even more and more like home. But yeah, I still feel like I found my home in that it's mountainy and naturey and I still am, like, grounded in that way, but it is far away from my actual family and home. So it is kind of strange, but. [00:15:54] Speaker A: Yeah. What about you? So at 15, a home was on the farm, right? Like, home at 15 was more about community than, I mean. Yeah, for sure. Location. Because, like, my parents live basically on the same property as my aunt. My grandmother's five miles away. Yeah. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Yours is family for sure. [00:16:17] Speaker A: Yeah. There's just, like, so many people in that tiny little town that all knew me and knew. They knew my parents before I was born. Like, they knew my. My grandparents before my parents were born. Like, there's just a whole bunch of history, and it's beautiful and it's community. It's lovely. So, like, that was what home was for me at 15. But now that I'm in my 30s, I think the concept of home is more of an internal responsibility rather than something that is just like. Like, readily available, you know, like, now I have this responsibility to make home happen for me and that I have been. I've been moving, you know, every year, basically, for the last 10 years, because, like, San Francisco, every other couple of years, I'd be moving apartments or whatever. And then I moved to Texas, and then I moved, you know, back to San Francisco and then to Seattle, and now I'm in Portland. So it, like, location wise, it. Home wasn't associated with a particular location other than, like, where my parents are. That's where I grew up. But now that I have the house, now that I'm married and I'm been kind of, like, meditating with myself on home, not being a location or a person, but, like, a sense of being, you know, like, this is home to me. This is where I, like, feel comfortable and cozy and I have all of my. [00:17:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:37] Speaker A: You know, things. And I have things the way that I like them. [00:17:40] Speaker B: It's funny how home is related to things in my opinion, too. Like, my things are what make my, like, homey and. [00:17:47] Speaker A: Yeah. Comfort your routines and, like, you know, where you go get gas and, you know, the relationships that you're building. So, yeah, I think there's more responsibility for me to create home the way that I like. It's my home, not my family's home. Right. Like, there's. In town, you have to, like, operate because you're, you know. Anyway, we won't go into too much detail about that, but I think there's a lot more ownership and a lot More responsibility and how I build myself my home, you know what I mean? In my 30s versus in when I was 15, I really took it for granted because, like, you do when you're just growing up, there's just all this available, these resources, these people, this community for people who are lucky enough to have that. But, yeah, I don't know. That's kind of a thought. It was a fun thought experiment. Yeah, I'd like to hear what home means for other people, too. So, like, get me up on Instagram and stuff if you haven't thought about that. Okay, the next word is gonna be party. You at 15 versus you and your 30s. [00:18:51] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. I feel like, again, they are kind of similar, but I feel like party at 15 was, like, going to a house party or a party in the woods or something, even though I didn't really do very much of that. But I was just like, oh, party, like, scary. I was such, like, a little prude. And I guess it was just like, a way bigger of a deal because, you know, obviously you weren't allowed, and it was so, like, forbidden and whatever. And so it just felt so, like, unfamiliar and whatever. Yeah, again, I was approved, so it's not too crazy. So I just thought of it as, like, so extravagant and, like, crazy and intense. And now a party, to me is just, like, all of your, like, loved ones and, like, favorite people in, like, the same room and just, like, having cocktails and, like, being super loud and silly. It usually involves music as well. Either just, like, really fun music on the. On the stereo or something or just, like, a concert or something like that. It's just, like, so fun to me. Being surrounded by all your friends and. Yeah, I don't know, just, like, celebrating something or someone. Yeah, it's, like, definition of party for me now. [00:20:01] Speaker A: Cute. [00:20:01] Speaker B: I'm sure I would have a lot better of an answer if I could think about it, but, yeah, that off the top of my head. Yeah, we can. [00:20:08] Speaker A: This may not be our one and only time to, like, kind of do this game. I think it's kind of fun. [00:20:11] Speaker B: Yeah, no, it is fun. [00:20:13] Speaker A: Okay. So for party at 15, I felt like I was so desperate for the invite. Like, literally just trying to go and be a part of the community of people that are, like, what I thought were interesting and compelling or, you know, different things. And that was me and my 15. 15, probably to, like, 25, where I was like, yeah, I'm gonna go to the party because I'm gonna be invited. I'm like, one of the partygoers. [00:20:41] Speaker B: Yeah, it's so true. I felt that way too. [00:20:43] Speaker A: Yeah. And then I'd say probably in my 28, probably when I turned 30 and I can't hang anymore. Like, hangovers are real. There was, like, this switch in my brain where a lot of the parties I go to now are for work. Right. Or, like, I'm going to. I have an agenda when I go to a party. Like, I'm going there to, like, show face or, you know, do a thing. Like, I feel like I have to put on a face to go to a party. Whereas, like, in my 30s, I'm in my 15s, my 15 to 25, I was so desperate for the invite, and now I'm in my 30s. I'm so desperate to just, like, not get invited. Like, I just don't want to go. I'd rather sit at home. [00:21:26] Speaker B: That's a funny. Yeah. [00:21:28] Speaker A: A free cocktail with my husband or, like, I'll have a gaming night with, like, a few of my friends and. Or when we go to festivals and, like, folk and forge. Last year, I just imagine everybody under the tent and, like, dancing to that cool guy. Like, that's the kind of party I would want to be at. But, like, party to, like, last night. And it was fine. Like, the holiday party was great, but it's a work thing. And anytime I, like, go to a networking thing or, like, they're having a party, it's usually a work thing. Yeah. Now I'm trying to, like, kind of get more semblance of a balance because I've been doing more, like, going to a friend's for the holidays or going to their house for, like, a little gaming thing. It's not really a party, but it kind of is. I don't know. I feel like in my 30s, I'm just so desperate to not get invited, so. And in my 15s, I was, like, desperate to be cool and go to the party. [00:22:18] Speaker B: That's awesome. [00:22:19] Speaker A: Anyway, we'll see what happens in my 40s. But maybe party will mean something different. So funny. Okay, the next one is gonna be. We can. Let's get a little bit deep here. It's. [00:22:31] Speaker B: I'll. [00:22:31] Speaker A: I'll let you pick one of four options. [00:22:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:22:36] Speaker A: Success, money, love, or body. [00:22:42] Speaker B: Oh, man. They all kind of, like. They all kind of go together too. Honestly, Just a little bit. Yeah. How you think about so many things I would like to do success, I feel like, because they kind of. It kind of does encompass all of those things a little bit, but. Okay. Success at 15, I thought probably was owning a house, getting married, being a GS12, because that's what I like thought that I was gonna be. I don't know, just like work for the government and whatever. And I thought that you could retire as a GS12, which jokes on me because that's hilarious. Yeah. Honestly, like, will our generation even retire? That's a good question. Anyways. Yeah, retiring and I don't know, having a family, I guess. I guess I'd never really. I definitely was never one of those girls that like knew I was gonna have a family or like, like was so excited about having a family. So that's really interesting to think about now. But anyways, so yeah, success was like all the markers of like just societal things that I thought were important and whatever at 15. At 35, I would say success for me is not being in credit card debt. Yeah. Being just happy. That's so hard. And that sounds so sad, but it's true. Success to me is not hating your job, which is also really hard. Also just like. Yeah. Having good friends, like good lifelong friends that you can count on. I think six, like friends is one of my like main points of like success. Yeah. Like happiness and what I get a lot of joy from and what I really prize is that having good friends that are really important to me and keeping those friendships. So. Yeah, I feel like it's like kind of. I kind of like quantified in words, but yeah, I feel like it just is. Your perspective has shifted. Mine has shifted a lot since then. And all the things that we all. I don't know, I'm just pushing so back on like the societal norms and like what you're supposed to be doing at what age and all that. Obviously because I haven't hit like any of those markers. So. [00:25:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:11] Speaker A: Can't really support those anymore. [00:25:13] Speaker B: But. Yeah. What would you say? [00:25:16] Speaker A: I'd say like 15 was such a naive idea that like success meant that I had a good job, that I made good money, but more importantly that I was self sufficient. I was outside of my. You know, the community that I grew up in is like very demanding when it comes to like what. How you build your life. So like success to me was kind of getting out of that, that specific environment, I'd say. And also like being at the table, like to me the one being a part of the conversation to solve the problem or like be entertained and listened to, like having a seat at the table was really what I thought success was gonna be. Like I was so high up or Whatever. I was like solving actual problems that needed thoughts. Right. Anyway, that's what I thought what success was, which is probably part of the reason that I pushed to like go to San Francisco, get into tech work and grind for, you know, the first 10 years of my career. And then that all blew up in my face. So now success at 36 is definitely, I think it's more about small wins. Like I don't really feel success. Success is such a daunting task to like associate my overall like life and what I've done. Do I, do I call that a success? Probably not right now. Like it's been a really rough couple of years. So success has been like narrowed into like the things that I can control on a day to day basis. If I get up, if I brush my teeth, if I do the things and show up for the people that I say I'm gonna show up for and I take care of myself, that's what I would say is like success. And hopefully if I string enough of those days along, then success means I'm self sufficient. I still think that's a really big core value of me and like how I grew up being self sufficient, not relying on people to like solve my problems and then being available to help other people through their problems. Like that's a very big core problem or core value of like just sharing that sense of self sufficiency. [00:27:28] Speaker B: Yeah, totally. [00:27:30] Speaker A: I'd say like, I don't know if I feel confident in my ability to say, okay, this is what success is going to look like at the end of 2026, because there's a lot about, there's a lot that I can't control. There's a lot that I, you know, that's kind of up in the air at the moment. And rather than trying to be so overwhelmed with like 15 year old thinking that I'm going to go out in the world and like dominate and be this total badass. And now I'm just like, okay, if I'm alive at the end of this, going to call that a success. Just like little things that I can control and I try to like push myself and, and make myself uncomfortable and still survive. I'd say like, maybe that's the best way to, to think about it. In my 30s, if I'm doing things that I haven't been doing before that make me a better person, that like expand my perspective and I'm still reaching goals or at least putting myself in a position to reach them, that is a successful person in my mind. [00:28:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:32] Speaker A: That was a tough one. [00:28:34] Speaker B: Yeah, Absolutely. [00:28:35] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. [00:28:36] Speaker B: Going back to the values. I think values are so important and just like how you identify them. And listener of the POD and friend Natalie, she sent me a podcast from. Can't even remember what it's called now. I'd have to look back my text, but it was a really good podcast about just kind of like writing down your values and, like, what they mean to you and how they way you, like, can apply that information to your life. And it was so fascinating. We should do a podcast on just like, values and talking through our different values if we want to get, like, deep on that subject. Because I do think it's really interesting and I do think it drives a lot of how you move through the world and the decisions you make and things like that. So, yeah, I'm down. [00:29:14] Speaker A: I think that's a good exercise. We can probably talk about that later. Let's do for like Valentine's Day, our values, and that's going to be like our cute little Valentine Day gift to ourselves. [00:29:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:29:25] Speaker A: Anyway, I like it. Do we want to do one more? Should we move on to the listener questions? [00:29:31] Speaker B: Yeah, let's do a listener question. [00:29:32] Speaker A: We've got two listener questions. They are. Yeah. Well, let's just start with the first one. Okay. What's one grown up thing you pretend to care about so people don't realize you're still mentally 22? [00:29:48] Speaker B: Do you want to go first? Because I. I need to, like, think a little bit. I need to think. Think kind of. [00:29:53] Speaker A: I think for me, I guess I probably could use a few minutes to think too. But I want to just, like, immediately say some. Something stupid like caring about the weather or like talking about property taxes or. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Man. No, finances in general. That is a really good one because, I mean. [00:30:14] Speaker A: Yeah, I think, like, now that I'm in my new career, I wish I would have been thinking about finances in a much more thoughtful way back in like 20 years. 22, 23. I think I did a really good job in my 20s and then like, my life blew up at 33 or something. So that happens and I'm kind of still on that recovery track. But yeah, definitely finances. Talking about, like, my credit score. Your credit score is important, but it's not that important. [00:30:42] Speaker B: What else? [00:30:43] Speaker A: Finances. Insurance, I guess. Yeah, that would be one thing that I pretend to care about. [00:30:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:50] Speaker A: Which is bad because, like, it's my career. It's really important and I understand that, but it is so boring. [00:30:56] Speaker B: And just like the depth. Yeah, I mean, the depth that you Actually have to be knowledgeable. And I think it's more so just like an untouchable thing kind of like it's such a like taboo thing to talk about with friends and like, totally. I don't think that. Yeah, people talk about their finances very much and people get weird about money. And so I feel like that level of it also gets really strange. The thing that I am thinking about and this is like a horrible, like, I guess I just like, am not understanding. Like, I don't think any of us were ever really taught like how to be like quote unquote healthy. And I don't know if this really answers the question, but this is like the thing that keeps popping up in my head in different ways. But just like eating right and like intolerances and just like how things affect your body and getting older and like hormones. I've been thinking a lot about hormones lately and just like, like how my body is feeling overall, like inflammation and. And that kind of stuff and hence why I wanted to do like the whole 30 situation. But yeah, I just feel like it's. There's so much misinformation out there. And so like, I feel like we just like have to really do the search on like what feels good for us and what works for us. And it's such a long game and it gets really exhausting. And so when people talk about like this new trend or like whatever, I'm just like. Like, I don't even know. I just like. Yeah. And obviously people are still doing research on women's bodies because none of that was ever done before. And so I just feel like whenever people talk about certain things, I feel like I should know. Especially like hormones, like. Yeah, especially like cortisol and sleeping and all that kind of stuff. And just like how different like the thing. I. I don't know if I was telling you, but I was telling someone about. They said that for the new year they like wanted to do cold plunges. And I was like, I think there was a study that just came out that cold plunges aren't good for women. And just like stu. Like that where it's like, I. Yeah, I don't know. There's so much information out there that it just gets really overwhelming. And so like, I'm really on this journey this year of just like figuring out what feels good for me. Like, do I want to be gluten free? I was gluten free for like three months last year to like clean up a face situation that was like a hormonal Thing. And so I just like. Yeah, it's just like all that kind of stuff of like, oh, God, this is exhausting. And. Yeah, no one knows the answer and the doctors are not helpful at all, so. Yeah. [00:33:18] Speaker A: Yeah, they're really not. So, like, you were pretending to care about, like, new fads or, like, new health things, but instead of doing that, you're gonna focus on what works for you. [00:33:29] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, we're just like, what. What people talk about is just, like, being, quote, unquote, like, healthy because they're doing this, that, or the other. And I'm just like, I don't. I don't know. I don't know for anyone. I think everyone just goes through all these, like, it's such a thing to talk about and. Yeah. [00:33:45] Speaker A: I don't know. Yeah. Do you have another one or. I think I might have another one. I think a lot of people talk about travel and I, like, the grown up thing is to, you know, have a vacation or, like, go to all these really cool places. And yeah, they're important. And I know that that brings a lot of joy to people. It brings joy to me, too. But I think I am at a position where, like, if I even think about going to Japan, it brings me anxiety trying to figure out how I'm gonna pay for it. So I'll talk about it. And I want to, like, hear how other people are planning these really big, beautiful vacations. But I think that's one thing that I'm pretending to care about because I just. I'm 22 in my mind, where I can't afford it. [00:34:25] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:25] Speaker A: So I don't know. That might be another one. Do you have another one? [00:34:28] Speaker B: No. That is a good one. Not that I can think of right now. [00:34:34] Speaker A: Okay. [00:34:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:37] Speaker A: The next question. What's a widely accepted healthy or normal adult, quote, unquote behavior that you secretly think is a scam? How are we getting scammed even though we're being told you have to do this because you're an adult, like, you're a grown up. [00:34:55] Speaker B: I guess that is kind of what I was just talking about. Huh. [00:34:58] Speaker A: I kind of want to, like, do this exercise where I put these questions and then put it in the perspective of, like, Tommy Pickle from the Rugrats or something, or like that Eliza girl from the Wild Thornberries or whatever. [00:35:10] Speaker B: Oh, my God. The dad, though. The dad from the Wild Thornberry. [00:35:13] Speaker A: Oh, God. [00:35:15] Speaker B: I guess I. What comes to mind in that way is, I guess it could be for the other one as well was like, Car Stuff like, I don't know, just when I should get my tires changed. And all that stuff is Googleable, obviously. But, like, thinking about it on, like, the day to day, like, literally brings me anxiety. I'm just like, oh, my God, I can't even think about it. But then I guess it goes back into, like, finance as well. Of like, oh, God, like, when am I gonna need a new car? Or, like, how much is that gonna cost? Like, getting all these updates and like, that kind of stuff. Do you have one for this one? Let me think a little bit. [00:35:51] Speaker A: I think, like, the thing that comes out of my head is how often I should be going to said specialist. Like, you're supposed to be getting your physical, you're supposed to be getting your gynecologist appointment, you're supposed to be going to the dentist. And like, like, as a healthy adult, you're supposed to be managing all of that by yourself. And like, on top of it, not only are you on top of it, you're supposed to, like, look forward to those things because it brings you joy. It means that you're, like, maintaining healthy respect for your body. And like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I am so over that. I am, like, if I get up and I'm running or if I move my body for 30 minutes, I think I've checked the thing for the day. Like, I usually will go for an hour and a half or 45 minutes just because my brain needs that time to unplug. But I don't like the idea that I have to subscribe to having my life organized in a certain way and take pride in that organization because that's what a healthy adult does. I think that's a scam. I think people are healthy adults that don't have things figured out and that things are messy. And I want to give people a little bit more grace and space to know that, like, you don't have to have everything figured out and you're still a successful and adult. You know what I mean? I don't know. I think the dentist is a scam. And maybe it's just my dentist, but I have pretty healthy teeth and I hope that that doesn't go away. And I take care of my teeth pretty well. Like, I don't. I don't know. But if you have to, like, go into the dentist and get invisalign or like get a root canal or whatever, they charge you up the whizzing. [00:37:22] Speaker B: Oh, my God, you know? Yeah. [00:37:24] Speaker A: Teeth is so expensive. [00:37:25] Speaker B: I know. That's what I Was saying all these things go back into money. Like I would love to get like a full body check from like the dermatologist or whatever. But like, yeah, it's so expensive. Like word from you. Like it was like $500 for you to like, yeah, go get your head checked and all that stuff. Like that's insane. [00:37:39] Speaker A: They charged me $500 for like eczema, scalp, dandruff on my hair. And finding a dermatologist here in the Portland area is impossible. I had an appointment that was like eight months in the future. And then like I couldn't make it because we were traveling out of town or something. And so I had to wait another like six months just to get on the counter or to just be seen as like a new client. And then they're going to charge you 200, $300 just to like be a new client. It's such a scam, dermatology. I'm going to say that because they don't really know. It could be your hormones to your point. Like it could be your environment, your dish soap. It could be the thing that's stuck in your air conditioner for your car, you know, temperature wise. Like I don't know, Dermatologist, just. That's a good one. I think they're a scam. [00:38:26] Speaker B: Yeah. I think mine is like regulating either like your emotions or just like your everyday life and everything. Like thinking that you have to do that alone. I think that a lot more people could benefit from either like ant anti anxiety medicine, some sort of like depression or whatever medication, some sort of adhd. Like a lot of people have ADHD that they don't know. That could be, you know, attributing to like making life harder. And like I do think like we're getting better about mental health and stuff. But I do think that like moving forward. Wait, how was the question phrase though? [00:39:13] Speaker A: What's a scam? Like what's something that. [00:39:16] Speaker B: Oh yeah, so my scam part of it is that like I think that people think that like life is just so impossible and that you just like can't get anything done where as I think that we're not supposed to be able to do all of the things that like society puts on us these days and so that some like addition or support is like not looked well upon or whatever. Yeah, it has like some sort of taboo on it and I do think that it would just help a lot of people get through life and like. Yeah, just the fact that they don't need to be in this alone I don't know. I mean, like, I've gone back and forth on if I should be on like anxiety medicine because, yeah, I just like spiral out and then don't sleep and go through all these like, motions of whatever. [00:40:03] Speaker A: The only one, like, that's definitely a constant. [00:40:07] Speaker B: Well, yeah, and that's what's hard too, is like, is this just normal life? But then it's like upsetting to think about that, that you, like, you just have to live this way because that's how life is. You know what I mean? Like, that's where I feel like the scam is, is like, oh, but everyone gets anxiety. Like, like it's fine. And it's like, when do you know when to go to the doctor? When is there a level of like, I need to do something about it or not? And like, just like the scam of like, people thinking that that's normal and like feeling that way is normal and that's just like such a bummer of like, oh, well, that's what being in your 30s is like, like, whatever. I don't know. [00:40:38] Speaker A: Right. [00:40:40] Speaker B: So, yeah, just like doing something about your health. [00:40:43] Speaker A: Yeah, I would say that. I don't know if this attributes to like. Okay, let's go back to the question. What's one grown up thing you pretend to care about so people don't realize you're still mentally 22? I'm pretending that social media brings value to anything, like community. And it does. Like, there's lots of perspectives. There's like a lot that you can gain, but there is so much more harm that they bring that it's. It's a scam. Like, they are built to keep your eyeballs looking at that app all of the time. Maybe the scam is like, the companies don't, don't care about you, as if they are only looking to suck the soul out of you. That is how they literally make money. That's how they literally design these apps. I just. Okay, my husband sent me something about Duolingo because I've been on Duolingo for like maybe a month or I guess over a year at this point. Definitely not a month. I don't know where that came from. But like, Duolingo has this very aggressive notification thing to like train you to have anxiety if you don't look at that app. [00:41:54] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, you break your streak or something, right? [00:41:56] Speaker A: Yeah, you break your streak or like you let the little owl down or like all your friends are waiting for you and the owl's like crying at 11:55 and he's like, well, I guess this isn't important to you. You. [00:42:05] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:42:07] Speaker A: Stuff like that. Yeah. And so, like, social media does that in a way that gets you to think that they care about you, when in reality, they don't. They're just trying to suck the soul out of your body. [00:42:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:18] Speaker A: So I think, like, the scam is pretending that social media brings a value that supersedes what you lose by being on. Because it's a dis. It's a disassociation tool. Right. If the world is so upset, like insane, or if you're dealing with anxiety to your point, the first thing that you're gonna do is try to, like, escape. So social media just tends to be like that first bridge. Really easy and accessible. [00:42:42] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:43] Speaker A: But, yeah, I don't know if that really answers your question, but I just had to say something about me being the point that social media is trying to suck the soul out of humanity. [00:42:50] Speaker B: It really is. Yeah. [00:42:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:51] Speaker B: It's real. [00:42:52] Speaker A: Anyway. Dang. That was a lot more content than I thought we were gonna get through today. [00:42:57] Speaker B: Yes. [00:42:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:59] Speaker B: Got a little deep there. [00:43:01] Speaker A: A little bit to start out. [00:43:02] Speaker B: 2026 for you all. [00:43:03] Speaker A: No big deal. No pressure. Sunday morning with a cup of coffee, and we'll just, like, try to solve all of our problems. [00:43:08] Speaker B: Yip yap, you know, but should we go into gratitudes and grievances? [00:43:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:43:12] Speaker B: Do you want to kick it off first? Sure, I'll do a grievance first. I guess it kind of leads into, like, societal things and whatever, but just, like, I feel like there's so much pressure in order to, like, be successful at a job when you first start it. And, I mean, maybe it's all in the person's head. My head, whatever the case may be. But I just felt such, like, this heavy, just, like, feeling on my chest this week of officially, like, being in your new role. Yeah, being in a new role. Not knowing Jack about how to do it and not. [00:43:50] Speaker A: Not being trained. [00:43:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Not getting any information. No advice, no whatever. Obviously, people are there for me, but, like, the. Being able to ask for help just feels a little tough right now. There's just so much going on. So. Yeah, I just feel like I am, like, very scared about letting my team down and whatever, but, like, I haven't really been given the tools or the resources to, like, succeed. So I am really trying to, like, not take it to heart. But, yeah, it was just been, like, a weird transition. I'm feeling, like, surprisingly okay. Like, I thought that I was Literally gonna, like, die. The day that my boss retired, it was. It was just so sad. And. Yeah, it was just like a huge, scary, like, yeah, it's a huge, scary transition. So it's that on her leaving and then also me having to take over for the team and just like, that. The weight of that feels, like a lot. So this week was really hard, actually. [00:44:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I had a really hard week, too. [00:44:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:51] Speaker A: Like, yeah. Yeah. But I think, like, when we were talking originally about the Fire Horse and this year being, like, the year transformation and what success looks like, being uncomfortable and me being in this, like, transitionary period, starting a new career. Yeah, it's very uncomfortable. This week was really freaking hard. But I have full faith that, like, you're going to figure it out. Not only that, you're going to be a better person because you're going to put somebody else else who's stepping into your situation in a better, like, more resources, more things written down, more change management, and it's just going to make you a better person. Even though it feels really uncomfortable. [00:45:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:45:30] Speaker B: And, like, that's the thing that I'm trying to lean into is, like, being uncomfortable is okay. And, like, yeah, not knowing is okay. I feel like I'm pretty good at admitting that I don't know something. So I don't feel, like, that burden of being like. Like, making up or anything. Like, I don't. And I will tell them, like, oh, I up. I don't know. I didn't know. No one told me, so whatever. Like, I'm at that point right now. Like, I did some. [00:45:53] Speaker A: You had to break it to figure out how to make it work, you know? [00:45:56] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. And, like, this week I had an employee who got hurt, and so I, like, told her that she could telework, and apparently that's not allowed. I was like, whoops, how would I have known that? Like, she's hurt. Like, she can't drive. Like, what the hell? How is she supposed to get to the office if she can't drive? I'm not. Like, we're so far behind that I need her to work, so she's gonna work from home. Like, you know stuff like that where it's like, yeah, how is that not. [00:46:20] Speaker A: Your call if you're the one in maintaining the team? But maybe they have. [00:46:23] Speaker B: It needs to be elevated one more level. So anyway, yeah, I was like, I thought it was supervisory discretion. [00:46:30] Speaker A: I don't know. [00:46:30] Speaker B: I signed the telework agreement, so, like, why would I not think that? So, yeah, Just silly things like that where I'm like figuring it out and I'm just like getting slapped on the hand and I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm doing the best best that I can. And also I think that's the best option for the employee. So. [00:46:44] Speaker A: Yeah, it's not like you went out of your way to like, make the wrong decision. You made the decision you thought was right. [00:46:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:46:50] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. Grievance for me this week was really hard news wise and I. We. I don't want to talk about it. Honestly. Like, it's just so depressing. So my grievance is still feeling like I have like, you have to watch the news even though the world is going to shit. Like, you kind of have to at least, least glance at it or like be somewhat aware. And I'm just grieved at the fact that I have to do that. And it's hard to maybe I need to like rework my, my news stories. So like, I get a couple of really terrible things that happen and then like a really nice story and then like all the terrible things that happen and then like a nice story. But I'm grieved at the fact that the nice stories are so few and far between. [00:47:35] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:36] Speaker A: So my grievance is just. Just that the world is heavy. It feels really hard to be excited about the future. But it's important that we do. It's important that we pay attention. I'm just grieved for. I'm just grieved for humanity at this point. So that's going to be an easy one. Let's move on to gratitude. [00:47:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm grateful that it's 2026, obviously. Yeah. [00:47:59] Speaker A: I lowkey anxious and nervous about it being 2026. Yeah, I'm like almost 40. [00:48:05] Speaker B: Okay. [00:48:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:06] Speaker B: That's a whole other. That's a whole other level. I was just. [00:48:09] Speaker A: That one. [00:48:09] Speaker B: Yeah. I was just thinking like, in terms of happy that 2025 is behind us and just like I. There is something psychological about like a fresh start almost of the new year. I hate the whole like, you know, resolution situation and everything. I do love manifestations and that kind of stuff, but I do think that it is just kind of like a mental refresh. If it's like known or not. It could be, you know, subconscious or whatever, but I do just like that feeling of like starting anew and just like getting excited for summer. Like we talked about plans for the summer and stuff. Just like have like towards the end of the year, you're just like, trying to make it through all the holidays and then the new year, you're just, like, looking forward to things again, and that's, like, really exciting and just like. Yeah, it feels like a good start. So, yeah, I'm happy to just think about 2026 and plan things and. Yeah, all the exciting things that are, like, coming forward. The spring will be very exciting, and, yeah, summer will be fun always, as per the usual. [00:49:08] Speaker A: So I love. So my grief or my gratitude. Excuse me. I'm gonna be. So this year has been really warm. It's not been, like, an especially cold summer. Winter. [00:49:21] Speaker B: You keep saying summer. [00:49:22] Speaker A: I'm sorry, everybody. Winter. But I. Which is not good, obviously. Like, I don't know anything about what I'm talking about. This is my first year. Like, putting bulbs in the ground and seeing what happens in, like, months ahead, and they're already popping up. Like, they're already green, which I don't know if I don't think that's a good thing. I think it needs to, like, a cold snap. So I'm hoping that snows. [00:49:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:44] Speaker A: This is too early, right? [00:49:45] Speaker B: Totally. Yeah. [00:49:46] Speaker A: Anyway, so they're all kind of, like, popping up, and I can start to see all my little daffodils and all my little hyacinths. I put a bearded. Bearded iris or whatever in my front yard, and I can just barely really see it. So they're good. They're doing well. But I want to be grateful for, like, the wherewithal to put them in the ground. Like, I kind of want to go back into 2025 and just, like, be grateful that it was. It didn't cost me a crazy amount of money. It just was, like, a lot of work to get the planner up, to get all the things in the ground, to, like, clear off the ivy. [00:50:20] Speaker B: And, yeah, you're getting to reap the benefits of all your work. [00:50:23] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm. I'm getting to the point where I'm starting to recognize the benefits. Right. So I'm, like, really excited and just grateful that I had the wherewithal. And I need to be thinking a little bit more broadly about that when it comes to this house and, like, maybe other aspects of my life. Like, the. The effort is not wasted in the moment. You just need to wait. There's, like, that delayed gratification, which clearly is my favorite thing. I'm the most patient person on this human planet Earth. Not. So try to, like, just be aware that patience is definitely a virtue and that, like, putting in the effort today will reap the benefits eventually. So, like, I want to be a little grateful for that. That realization that I had this last week. So just grateful for all the freaking hard work that doesn't feel like it pays off immediately, but it will eventually. [00:51:13] Speaker B: So. [00:51:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, sure. It's kind of a lame one, but. [00:51:16] Speaker B: I had to, like, throw that out there. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Hopefully we do get a winter eventually, but. Agreed. [00:51:22] Speaker A: I'm hoping. [00:51:23] Speaker B: I'm happy that it's been nice. Don't. [00:51:24] Speaker A: I would not be mad at, like, maybe a week of snow here in Portland. I know, like, people are really about snow in Portland and stuff, but, like, I don't mind. I don't have to go into the office every single day. Would love to, like, just cuddle and get a fire going and, like, hang out in the snow. It's lovely. Anyway, anyway, that's all we have for you folks. [00:51:43] Speaker B: Yeah. This episode turned out to be a lot longer than we thought it would be, so. Yeah, we love you all so much. [00:51:50] Speaker A: Thanks for being candid, and we'll see you guys next time. Bye. That's all for today's episode. [00:51:58] Speaker B: Hope you enjoyed listening as much as we love you. [00:52:00] Speaker A: Follow us on Instagram @candidly30. [00:52:03] Speaker B: See you next week.