S3 - Updates with Jaro

[00:00:17] Speaker A: Hello, and welcome to part two of the second episode with Jaro. We were so happy to have him back on the pod and set him off on his new life adventure that him and Sam are going on. If you liked part one, just let us know. Send us a message. Or you could text K for I or just let us know on Instagram. But here is part two. We are so excited that he wanted to come back on the pod and chat with us. And it's just crazy what a year can do. What the difference just places in life that Jaro and I are both in. So we love you all. Here you go, part two. [00:00:56] Speaker B: Bye. And how do we like that? Kind of like coming together and just showing up. For me is the best part about being in a relationship with somebody that you trust. Somebody that, like, isn't going to make me feel like a terrible, like, person for making mistakes or, you know, not really living up to what my parents wanted me to be. But that's okay. [00:01:17] Speaker C: You know what he's doing? [00:01:19] Speaker B: What? [00:01:19] Speaker C: He's regulating your emotions. [00:01:21] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. That's the best part about it. [00:01:24] Speaker D: A good man. [00:01:26] Speaker B: I love it. I'm gonna tell him that anyway. That's how I'm, like, literally blushing right now. I'm so sorry to, like, gush about my relationship. [00:01:35] Speaker D: There she is. She's so cute. Anyway, I will agree with that, though. One of my favorite parts is just, like, being able to talk to someone. Like, obviously we have friends for that as well. But there's something so sacred about talking to your partner about things and being able to, like, especially things like that, like finances and your job. And, like, your friends will obviously listen, and it's very important that you talk to your friends as well, and you have other outlets, but it's just, like, different being able to be like, whoa, like, work is really hard right now, and, like, them understanding the level that you're at because they see you every day and they know how you feel every day, and they know that you're not just like, oh, how's work? Oh, I'm sorry. It's been really hard lately. It's not like that level. [00:02:22] Speaker C: It's like, listen to what I got to say. [00:02:24] Speaker D: Oh, what? Yeah, exactly. [00:02:27] Speaker C: Your friends. Your friends are like, oh, that sucks. Well, now listen to all my heart problems. [00:02:32] Speaker B: Yeah, totally. [00:02:32] Speaker C: It's like, wow, come here. Let me hold you. Let me take on some of that load, because we need to share this. We're in this together, like you said. [00:02:39] Speaker D: For sure. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Yeah, very much so. Oh, my gosh. You guys so sweet. [00:02:43] Speaker D: Wait, Gyro had something to say. [00:02:44] Speaker C: Yeah, I was going to say, like, to me, and I've talked about this with Sam. To me, like, marriage, it doesn't hold the religious, like, meaning it doesn't hold the. The. Under the law. Meaning. Speaking of marriage under the law, K Flor, do you have a prenup? [00:03:04] Speaker B: No, I do not. [00:03:06] Speaker C: Are you gonna have a prenup? [00:03:07] Speaker D: I don't know. [00:03:08] Speaker C: There. [00:03:09] Speaker B: I looked into it though, and there wasn't a lot that I needed to protect. So we decided. Slash, I decided not to. But yeah, just. Just me. But I do. There are some other things that. Putting my name on the house when we bought it, things like that, that I've been really aware of. Because if you get married, you are also making yourself vulnerable, legally speaking, in some degree. So you have to, like, make sure that you take steps to. And especially if you're emerging finances. Yeah, go ahead. [00:03:43] Speaker C: So I listened to this podcast, I. [00:03:45] Speaker D: Listen to a lot of podcasts, but also Sam's profession. [00:03:49] Speaker C: True. In this podcast, they mentioned it was. It was with a divorce lawyer and he mentioned that a prenup. So when you get married, you take the states marriage license. The state came up with those rules and what's going to happen if you separate? Like, they determined what your marriage license with your partner, what your agreement, what your. Technically, it's a business agreement, right? [00:04:25] Speaker B: It's a contract. [00:04:26] Speaker C: It states what your business contract with your husband or your wife is, what a prenup does. It allows you as a couple to make that business contract. And what's going to happen when this happened? What's going to happen when this happens? And so this divorce lawyer was talking about how, you know, you know, people get really up in arms if, you know, your. Your partner comes up, Matt comes up to you and he's like, let's get married. But I have this prenup. And you're like, what, a prenup? How dare you? You don't trust me. It's like, it's nothing like that. No, it's more like, look, I love you so much right now that I want to make sure that we are entering this contract, this agreement, with our best interest in mind. Yeah, let's talk about what those are. Like, I don't want you. And this is like the. When you're getting married is the best time to come up with that. Because it's like, I love you so much that I'm gonna get married to you and I don't want you to ever be in A hardship. And so let's come up with these terms of this business agreement so that both of us are in a better position if and when something forces us to separate. And so that was one thing I wanted to talk about, is get a prenup. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:05:51] Speaker C: Don't just take the state's business agreement because it's bullshit. [00:05:54] Speaker D: I will say that federal employees, because we get such good retirement. And it has been recommended to me to always to get a prenup because no matter what, in any state, your partner gets 50 of your retirement, which is significant. I don't know if that's for, like. [00:06:11] Speaker B: Your pension or your. [00:06:12] Speaker C: I think it depends on the state. [00:06:15] Speaker B: Okay. [00:06:15] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:16] Speaker D: But anyways, my. One of my best friends growing up, her parents, her mom made way more money than her dad, even though they both were federal employees. But she got. Or he got 50 of her retirement because she made way more money. And so ever since then, since I was like nine years old when they got separated, she always told me, her mom, she was like, if you ever become a federal employee or if your partner's ever a federal employee, you get that prenup. Literally, like, it's rained into my brain. And yeah, since I'm a federal employee, it's just, like, so bizarre that. Yeah, now I, like, have to think about those things. But anyway, sorry not to take away from here. [00:06:53] Speaker C: Nope, no problem. The other thing was that once again, I listened to a podcast. [00:07:03] Speaker D: Should be called I listen to a podcast. [00:07:05] Speaker B: Very enlightening. [00:07:07] Speaker C: Learn so much from podcasts. Ridiculous. [00:07:11] Speaker D: I do, too. I do too. Honestly, if it's not from podcasts, it's from Tick Tock. And I pretend like it's a podcast. So everything Jaro saying he learned from Facebook reels. [00:07:22] Speaker C: So no, Facebook reels for me are like funny entertainment. They're not, like, educational, really. Maybe some of them are educational, but majority of them are just like, like I said, Bushman scare pranks and like, different kind of silly life hacks and like, some weird stuff. But this other podcast that I listened to, so both Sam and I have, like, no connections to religion or any interest in marriage. For religious reasons. Yeah, we have no interest in marriage for, like, legal or those kind of interests, you know, those reasons for marriage. But I did hear this one thing, and I've always. I've always viewed as a marriage, as a celebration of love, right? With you and your partner. You're sharing with your friends, with your family, with your community, that you love each other. Furthermore, more on top of that, you love each other. This podcast revealed to me that it's also a public contract that you're creating. Right. Because you're stating to the closest people that you have in your life, your friends, your family, your community, that you love this person, that you want to be with this person, and you're making the commitments in your life to be with this person, theoretically, forever. And so that's kind of a big thing where, you know, you're not. You're not gonna go run off with some floozy or some hunk because you've made this commitment. And all your friends were there when you said, I love this woman and I'm gonna be with her. [00:09:12] Speaker B: They do do that. [00:09:13] Speaker C: They do do it, but then they get viewed a certain way by their friends and family and community because, you know, they didn't amicably separate this contract. It was. You did this on your own, and you violated the person that you're supposed to love the most, their trust. How do I feel about that? How do I feel like, what do I expect you as a friend that's not as deep as a lover in a relationship? How do I feel that you're going to treat me in a difficult or tough situation? So it's kind of like, responsible. I don't know what the term would be. Responsibility. A character promise. I don't know what you would call it, but I never thought about marriage in that way where you're making a public promise to the people that you care and love the most. [00:10:10] Speaker D: Yeah. And then it gets into all this, like, sticky stuff of, like, I don't know, like, I am 100 agreeing with what you're saying. But then it also gets weird where it's, like, spending thousands upon thousands of dollars just to, like, promise your love to each other, you know? [00:10:27] Speaker B: Oh, well, yeah. That's Hallmarking. [00:10:29] Speaker D: Yeah. Then it's just, like, all for show, and then it doesn't feel authentic. [00:10:32] Speaker C: It doesn't feel authentic. [00:10:33] Speaker D: Yeah. And. And so, I don't know, it's such a weird, like, you have to, like, do this weird balance of, like. Yes. Wanting to make a public promise, but also, like, not making it, like, gimmicky and gross like people are doing these days. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:47] Speaker C: Not making a consumer. [00:10:49] Speaker D: Yeah, exactly. [00:10:50] Speaker C: Like, not making it an ego thing for sure. [00:10:53] Speaker B: Right? [00:10:54] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, don't get me wrong, there's, like, beautiful venues and weddings and things, but, like, oh, my gosh, it just seems so insane, like, none of our friends have gone out alive, like, not spending, like, so. So much money. So. [00:11:08] Speaker B: So I know Weddings are ridiculously overpriced. But I do see that, like, you two obviously grew up with a reverence for marriage. Like, there's a. A meaningful whatever it is. Like, you take that seriously. [00:11:24] Speaker D: You don't know. [00:11:24] Speaker C: 39 years. No, 39, 40 years. [00:11:29] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:11:29] Speaker B: They're coming up on their 40th. Congrats to them. My parents said that it's a big one. Yeah, that's hard. [00:11:34] Speaker C: I think their 40th is in July. [00:11:37] Speaker B: Are they doing a big party? [00:11:38] Speaker D: Wait, my parents got married in July, and I think it's their 40th. [00:11:42] Speaker C: I don't know if they're doing a big party. My dad's turning 70 this year, and so they're doing a big birthday party for my dad. So I don't know if they're gonna do a big anniversary party and a big birthday party. I'm not sure. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Okay. My dad turned 60 and he celebrated his 40th year anniversary in the same year. So they got married at like 20. And. Yeah, that's very, very young. I did not do that. Sorry. Kelly, how long have your parents in the other. They're celebrating. [00:12:09] Speaker D: I think they. They actually. No, they got married in 87. So next year will be there. [00:12:16] Speaker B: They're coming up on it then. Okay, so they're 40 is a big milestone. Like, that's very, very impressive. And we should be talking to people like them who actually know about marriage. Don't ask me questions that I don't know. Yeah, I'm. Yeah, I want to, like, be very realistic that marriage is not for everybody. We're very privileged to, like, grow up with a very healthy, long lasting relationship. [00:12:43] Speaker D: Yeah, they're still together, which I feel like is like not the norm for statistics. Right. [00:12:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm like, I'm literally like gearing up in my head to go to. My sister in law is getting married in Fort Collins at the end of January. So, like, I'm going to a wedding, which I haven't been to a wedding in a really long time. Which it was kind of interesting. I feel like I was going to a wedding every other freaking weekend there for like three or four years. [00:13:09] Speaker C: And. [00:13:09] Speaker D: Then everything kind of gets old and then you have to wait for the second round of marriages to start back up. [00:13:14] Speaker C: And by you mean the divorce to get married again. [00:13:19] Speaker B: Or the ones who. [00:13:20] Speaker C: Missed the first round because they were having too much fun. [00:13:24] Speaker B: That's true, that's true. [00:13:25] Speaker D: Honestly, I was holding out for like the divorcees because I was like, I'm getting past the point of like, everyone married. That's in my, like, age range. So I need. [00:13:32] Speaker B: You're, like, prepping yourself to marry. Like. [00:13:40] Speaker C: I hit that second round. [00:13:46] Speaker D: Wait, but can you answer if marriage is important to you? I know you said not, like, in a religious way, but do you want to be married? [00:13:55] Speaker C: I think. I don't know. I'm kind of. I feel like I really don't care to get married, but if it's important to my partner, then I want to do it. And if I was to get married, it was. It would definitely be a very small, very, like, intimate situation. I don't. I know that Sam's not really big into, like, big flashy, and everyone knows about everything. Situations, and so I don't think she's gonna, like, want a big, crazy wedding. But I do find it important to kind of, like I said, to. To profess my love and my commitment to my partner. I find that to be an important thing. [00:14:46] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:14:46] Speaker C: Whether it's done through a small gathering, a big wedding, like, I really doesn't matter to me. But I do think that that's kind of a thing that is. I don't know. I guess. I guess important is just like the. The sharing to my loved ones that this is a decision that I'm making because I want to make this decision out of my own free will. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:15:11] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:15:12] Speaker B: I'd say my husband was really similar. Like, he didn't. He. I don't think he really thought he was going. He didn't think he was going to get married, I don't think. And I don't know if it was really important to him to get married, but it was important to me and my family, so he kind of went along with it, but he had a good time. Mexico was great, so you can't complain. But marriage and the wedding aside. [00:15:37] Speaker D: I. [00:15:38] Speaker B: Think that when people start to think about, like. Like fantasize what marriage could be, I want to bring them back down to reality. Like, you are making a literal contract with somebody that you are going to be connected with, regardless if you live with them, regardless if you have kids, if you buy property, whatever. Like, 40 years is a very long time to be with somebody every single day. And there are a lot of good days and there are a lot of bad days. And, like, I think that's the most beautiful thing, though, is that if you can find that rhythm with somebody, that even in the bad times, it's still good. And in the good times, like, you want to. I don't know, like, that regulating emotions, like, you're talking about. I think if you can find somebody can do that for a 40 year period, like, that's the real prize. That's amazing. I can even do that with myself. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't want to marry me. I'm terrible. Like, so surprised that my husband's still with me after all this time. I can't shake him. [00:16:39] Speaker C: I can't shake him. [00:16:42] Speaker D: No. It's funny, my grandma was talking about, shoot, how long were they married? My grandpa died two years ago, so she was 85 and she got married at 19. What's that, 66 years? I guess. [00:16:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:55] Speaker D: And obviously different time. You know, getting married at 19 is not the norm and whatever, but. Yeah, just like, could you imagine not having an identity except for being married from the age of 19? Like, that is just such a crazy. Okay. [00:17:11] Speaker B: My mom got married, like, right after she turned 19, so she doesn't listen to this podcast anyway. But, like, she's been married longer than she's been single in her life. She's always Mrs. You know, LaFleur or whatever. Yeah. [00:17:25] Speaker D: So that is so fascinating. Like, wondering how your identity shifts. Being able to kind of become your own person versus being in a relationship from such a young age and trying to figure out who you are or if you need to, or if it shifts who you are or if you are still able to, like, find out who you are. I don't know. Just something I was thinking, but if. [00:17:45] Speaker B: You get married at 19, like, imagine the transformation that happens. Like what? Like we're talking about regulating your emotions, being a good communicator, being vulnerable, giving space to your partner. All of that's so important. [00:17:57] Speaker D: Also learning all of that with your partner, like, that would be really difficult. Difficult as well. [00:18:01] Speaker B: Like, she had to go to college, and my dad put her through college at, like, construction or whatever. And then she had like a little baby. Like, she had. What's it called? Baby. The baby school. Geez. Oh, my God. Thank you. Yeah, she had a daycare. She had a daycare for such a long time. [00:18:22] Speaker D: Are you forgetting your brother? [00:18:27] Speaker B: She had. Oh, my God, a daycare. And she had my brother really young. And she had my sister and then me. Like, she had three kids before she was 26. That's that. And then she finally started her career in her 30s. Like, that's crazy. People don't do that anymore. [00:18:42] Speaker D: Yeah, no, they don't. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Anyway, let's not talk about my mom. [00:18:45] Speaker D: We love you, mama. [00:18:47] Speaker B: Skip that and put her to the side anyway. Yeah, yeah. [00:18:53] Speaker D: You want to talk about, I don't. [00:18:55] Speaker C: Know, what's up with you and your future. [00:18:56] Speaker D: Oh, yeah, we're not going to release all of that on the pod because my parents do listen to the pod, but. [00:19:04] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:19:05] Speaker D: I mean, like, yeah, we have been. [00:19:08] Speaker B: Are you not planning on telling your parents? [00:19:10] Speaker D: No, no, no, we. No, I will, but not right now. [00:19:13] Speaker C: Do your parents have a virgin that's not going to be on the pod? I'm just curious. [00:19:21] Speaker D: I don't think so. No, we haven't. [00:19:23] Speaker C: Like. [00:19:24] Speaker B: That's the funniest thing I've heard today. [00:19:29] Speaker D: Now you're deep one. I'm sorry. [00:19:31] Speaker B: Anyway, So you're not allowed to move. [00:19:38] Speaker C: In with him until you're married. [00:19:41] Speaker B: Honestly. Oh, my God. [00:19:44] Speaker D: So we have, like I said. So I went to Italy in June and I got back mid July, so I was on for, like, quite some time. And he wanted to be with me still. And we talked a lot, like, when I was gone and stuff. But ever since then, we kind of have been like, I don't know, just going on like, a really good trajectory of moving forward. And yeah, we, like, the government shut down in October, so again, just like, a really hard, like, work here for me. And so it was really nice though, actually, because we got to travel a lot and because he works remotely, we were able to do a bunch of stuff. And it's just like, really nice when someone, like, listens to the things that you said. Like, before knowing him, I had never been to the Oregon coast, and I had, like, he loves it, so it wasn't like, too far of a stretch. But yeah, I, like, told him one time, like, I had never been to the Oregon coast. And so then he planned an entire road trip and we went to, like, every town on the coast and I got to see them all. And, like, we picked our favorites and, like, we picked all these, like, restaurants and things like that. Just, like, going through the motions and, like, doing stuff like that and. And having your partner, like, actually, like, listen to you and, like, remember things that you tell them. Like, for example, Christmas was like, a big. Not that Christmas is, like, that big of a deal to me. Like, I actually, like, hurt his feelings because I don't love Christmas as much as him. I, like, I'm not obsessed with it. Like, he is. And, like, we went around and, like, drove around and, like, looked at Christmas lights and stuff. And he's like, we're driving around and he's just, like, so excited, and we're listening to Christmas music and whatever adorable. We have like, our little, like, teas and things. And he's. He just looks at me and he goes, I can't believe you hate Christmas. [00:21:29] Speaker B: And I was like, I don't hate Christmas. I just, like, don't feel the same. [00:21:33] Speaker D: Way that you do. [00:21:35] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Thank you, Matt. Thank you, God. [00:21:40] Speaker D: No, it's just, like, funny because, like, going through all these, like, weird, like, first things, you know, like, Christmas for, like, him loving it so much and then, like, having to share holidays, like, with my family and his family and us being really close to our families is just, like, really nice and also really hard. And now just having. [00:22:04] Speaker B: Okay, say that again. [00:22:08] Speaker C: That was the other option. [00:22:14] Speaker B: Okay, okay, go back. [00:22:16] Speaker C: Go back. Christmas. [00:22:18] Speaker B: Christmas and family going forward together. [00:22:23] Speaker D: Yes. So, like, it was really important to me that he is really close with his family and that he has, like, a large friend group. And so we're just very similar in so many ways, but we're very different. Different in a lot of ways as well, which I think is why. Yeah, we just, like, work and we just. From a lot of my friends, too, they have just told us that, like, we just, like, hit it off so fast and like, we were just, like, inseparable, like, very quickly. And so it's nice to hear from other people as well and not, like, think it's, like, all in your head kind of of like, oh, my gosh, I'm just, like, you know, have reading too much or whatever. Yeah, people just be, like, acknowledging that we're, like, very confused, compatible, and that we, like, get along so well and, like, we're fun to be around together, and we're fun to be around separately. And that, like, I just loved how easy, like, our friend groups molded and everything together. And, like, my friends, like, his friends, I guess Jaro can attest to that or not, but. And then I like his friends so much. And we are very different, and we have very different friend groups and we do different things. But I am, like, excited about, like, molding together in the first place. But, yeah, like, going through the first set of, like, major holidays together and him actually, like, listening over the last six, seven months of, like, things that I, like, wanted or, like, needed or whatever, and him actually, like, doing it. Like, I didn't give him a Christmas list, and he did great. Like, wow. Yeah. And so it's just, like, that's impressive. [00:23:51] Speaker B: My husband didn't even get me a gift. [00:23:56] Speaker D: I mean, and not that, like I said, Christmas isn't that important to me. So, like, the fact that he wanted to do that for me because it's important to him, you know, is like, yeah, that's like bringing me into his ether and. But also just like showing me that he is like very thoughtful in like those kind of way. I mean he's thoughtful from the get go. Like we all know that. Well, I don't know if I shared this on the pod, but the day that I had to return to office, we'd only known each other for like three weeks or something and I had to drive all the way to Prineville and he woke up on the day that my first day I had to report to Prineville and he brought me flowers and like decorated my cubicle in Prineville before I got there at 6:30 in the morning. [00:24:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:24:38] Speaker D: And so super cute. [00:24:39] Speaker C: Good job, man. [00:24:42] Speaker B: We were all very impressed. [00:24:43] Speaker D: Just like that, like initiative and like we definitely have way different love languages. Like my love language are like acts of service and like words of affirmation and his are very much. I guess his are acts of service as well. But he. Yeah, it's just like so funny. Like learning each other's different traits and everything and then also like growing together and then working together on them as well has been like a good journey. And it's just been so easy. Like I don't know how else to describe it but like so nice and easy. [00:25:18] Speaker C: I agree. [00:25:19] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:25:20] Speaker B: Good. Those are so cute. [00:25:22] Speaker C: It's so nice. Like it just works, you know? Like what you think you're doing to help the other person is helping the other person. And it's like. I don't know, it just. When it's easy, it's easy. I don't know how else to say it. [00:25:39] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like the law of perpetual motion. It builds and it builds and it builds and it becomes that much easier and to communicate, to have expectations. But you got to keep that going, right? Like keep showing up for one another and not let that fail or like not fail, but it's gonna gradually decrease. You're gonna be in different situations, you're gonna be different people as you move forward, but trying to maintain some of those small things that you can contribute and control and regulate the other person and just be vulnerable with them. Like that's gonna be long lasting. I would. I don't. Let's hope that's what I'm doing. So anyway, so next with you guys. [00:26:16] Speaker C: Are you guys getting married? Are you guys having kids, moving in together? [00:26:22] Speaker D: Yeah, I don't know. [00:26:24] Speaker C: We'll make it on because mom and dad watch I'm curious. [00:26:29] Speaker D: Tvd all the things. Yeah, we're definitely gonna move in together. It's very complicated with. Not complicated. That's not the right word to use, I would say. It's just. Yeah, our lives are. They were very separate, and because we were both grown humans and then we came together. So it's just like. I would say it's just a plus that we need to, like, figure out how to handle two houses and two mortgages. And how we want to do that together will be, like, a good test. Not a test, but more so just like a learning experience. And us being a team going through it is going to be. Be a good thing. And, like, we've talked about all of that on just how we'll move forward and how we'll work on it together and figure it out together. So that's really nice and just, like, affirming, I guess, that we're making the right decision going forward. And, yeah, we have a lot of plans for this year all at the same time of, like, trying to not have that many plans. So. Yeah, but we have a lot of things on the docket. Like, May and June are already busy, so. Yeah, we'll see where this year takes us, but we're busy. [00:27:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:27:38] Speaker D: Wait, give us your update. [00:27:39] Speaker C: Yeah, plans for the year, huh? Yeah. Let's see. So after Burning man this year, so early September, I moved into Sam's house. And we always had. So Sam grew up in Hawaii. Her parents are still Hanaway or in Hawaii. Her family is all in Hawaii. And we had talked about, you know, eventually we want to. We want to go back or she wants to go back. I was like, yep, you don't have to ask me twice. I'm totally right. [00:28:18] Speaker B: Packed my bags as we speak. [00:28:20] Speaker C: Well, before I moved to Bend, I lived in Mammoth. And when I was leaving Mammoth, in my head, I was like, I want to move somewhere tropical for, like, I don't know how many years. Several years. Like, I'm tired of winter. I don't want to be cold anymore. I'm ready to go somewhere tropical. And then I found myself in. After being here for three, three and a half winners, I guess I am so over the cold. Like, I. I don't want. Why I heard this saying, life's too short for winners. [00:28:59] Speaker D: Oh, honestly, that's how I feel as well. But I love everything else about bed. [00:29:04] Speaker C: Oh, everything else is great. Summer's here, like, from May to October. Incredible. [00:29:10] Speaker D: Literally. [00:29:10] Speaker C: Yeah, incredible. [00:29:11] Speaker D: It keeps you here for the other months, to be honest. [00:29:14] Speaker C: Sadly. But in any case, so back early summer, late spring, we had already been, like, in the talks of, like, okay, let's. Let's start, like, at least slowly start thinking, planning, looking at where our move to Hawaii will happen. And we came up with, like, by 2027, we want to be in Hawaii. [00:29:40] Speaker D: Okay, nice. [00:29:41] Speaker C: So, you know, I was on, like, Zillow and realtor.com just kind of seeing what's available. Both of us. Both of us wanted to have property. We want to have, like, we kind of align on those values of we want to have property, we want to grow our own food, we want to live sustainably or as sustainably as we can to really have, like, a really comfortable quality of life. And so it's important for us to have property so that we can have plants, trees, veggies, fruits, the whole thing. [00:30:17] Speaker B: I love that. [00:30:19] Speaker C: Both of us love to scuba dive. We love to free dive. I'd love to spearfish and fish with a, like a rod and reel. And so, like, getting our protein, getting our veggies, getting our fruits, getting all of at least majority of our sustenance from nature and from, like, what we can produce, rather than being dependent on grocery stores and whatever gets shipped in and, you know, whatever processed foods we get, we want to kind of be more dependent on our own resources. [00:30:55] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:56] Speaker C: So that was something that I was looking for, was looking for property. I was also looking like, what am I going to do for a living if we move to Hawaii? Like, how am I. What am I going to do for work? What am I going to. How am I going to be able to support. Support owning property and building a house and doing all these things? And so I started to get my professional engineering license in the state of Hawaii. I already have a license in the state of California, in the state of Oregon. So I just needed to get reciprocity in Hawaii. And so I was able to get that sometime. I think that was in, like, June or July. And then Sam and I had a talk, and I was like, you know, when I lived in Mammoth, I really enjoyed working in water treatment and wastewater treatment and, you know, being able to provide a healthy water system to my community was. Was. I felt very valuable. I found it very interesting. There was a lot of interesting, like, science and chemistry and. And physics and geology and like, all of that that went into that whole system, and I've really nerded out on all of it. I loved it. [00:32:10] Speaker B: I love. [00:32:11] Speaker C: And Sam was like, well, if that's what you're into, there's no Doubt you'll have a job in Hawaii, because there's a huge population in Hawaii. There's a big population in Hawaii. And a lot of the waste water, the sewer, sewage, right now goes in, like. I think it's like, 90% is cesspools, which I don't know if you know anything about that. It's basically open pits that go into the ground, like, untreated, which is not good for groundwater. [00:32:51] Speaker B: Right. [00:32:51] Speaker C: Or, like, potable groundwater. That's not good. So there's a lot of infrastructure in Hawaii before 2050. They're trying to eliminate all cesspools, which means convert them into septic tanks and septic systems or connect them to sewer lines and have those sewer lines go to a treatment facility to get treated. And so I was like, okay, cool. Well, let me look into that. And so I went online, and I. I found multiple listings for the county of Hawaii for engineering positions. [00:33:28] Speaker B: Nice. [00:33:29] Speaker C: And so I started applying for engineering positions. And, you know, I thought it was going to be a lot more difficult, but I must be a personable person because. [00:33:42] Speaker D: Oh, surprise, surprise, look out. [00:33:46] Speaker C: Almost immediately, the deputy director of the Department of Environmental Management for the county of Hawaii fell in love with me, I'm gonna say. And he was like, well, that's easy to do within, like, a phone call. He was, like, texting me, speaking. I don't know if you know what pigeon is. It's, like, not Nate. It's not native Hawaiian, but it's like the slang language that native Hawaiians speak. It's. It's kind of a mixture between Hawaiian, English, Portuguese, like, all the languages that came to Hawaii and kind of colonized Hawaii during the. The early stages of Hawaiian colonization. But ultimately, he's, like, sending me, like, brown shakas and. And, like, all this stuff within, like, the first text. And so I went through the whole process, and I got. Basically, it's like, a principal project engineer position for the wastewater treatment and collections in the Kona area. And then sometime in, like, late October, I came up on this listing, and it was. The only information that it gave was it was, like, 2.2 acres in Halua Loa, which is a. Like, a small community just up mountain from Kailua. Kona. Kona on the Big Island. And the only picture. They had, one picture on the listing, and it was of the street name Halua Loahui Road is the. What road it's on. And that's all that was there. Like, there's no. You didn't know what the property looked like. Where it was at, there's no address, like, nothing. And I was like, huh, okay, well, let me, let me just do a quick look and see if I can find what this property is. [00:35:48] Speaker B: And so, like, on Google Earth or something? [00:35:50] Speaker C: What's that? [00:35:51] Speaker B: Like on Google Earth or something? [00:35:52] Speaker C: I tried on Google Earth, I couldn't really find anything because I needed property lines to determine, like, what the area of each property was. [00:35:59] Speaker D: Okay. [00:36:00] Speaker C: But I went on to the county of Hawaii, kind of like their. Here in Deschutes county, it's called Dial. It's basically like the county plat maps and shows the different property lines and information. It's all public information. So I went on this website and started looking in the general area and found a 2.2 area acre property. And so then the process started of, like, figuring out what this property is all about. We tried calling the real estate agent and her name was Singh. I forgot what her last name is, but she was this like, small little Chinese lady. And like, we love that eventually through the purchase of this property. Our friend Kai, he's Sam's childhood friend, he was our, our list or sales agent, our agent. But seeing the listing agent, it was, it was, it was a blessing and a curse that she was a listing agent. The blessing was that she didn't know what the hell she was doing because she didn't know what the hell she was doing. She probably tanked a lot of deals before this because she would mess things up. Like, when we called her, we asked her if she could give us more information about the property. And she's like, oh, yeah, 2.2 acre. [00:37:21] Speaker B: That's it. [00:37:23] Speaker C: Great property. Ocean view. That's like all the information she gave. She gave us about the property. [00:37:32] Speaker A: Dang. [00:37:32] Speaker C: We had to go into, like, like I said, the county maps, looking at all the information, what utilities were provided, all this stuff, and it's all. It's bare land, there's no structures. So we're going to be building. And we, we closed escrow early December. [00:37:48] Speaker B: Congratulations. [00:37:51] Speaker C: So we're. We're owners of 2.2 acres in Haluloa. [00:37:54] Speaker B: Yay. [00:37:55] Speaker C: It's a beautiful property. We. We went there in November while we were still in escrow to walk the property and make sure there isn't like, any kind of, like, sacred sites or any kind of like, things that would really prevent us from being able to build and live on the property and be able to do what we want to do with it. [00:38:14] Speaker D: That's my. [00:38:15] Speaker C: We have hilarious pictures. I mean, the property, nothing's been Done to it for five years. And I don't know if you know how fast things grow in Hawaii. There's. It's called cane grass or fibergrass or razor. It's not razor grass, but it's basically like grass that's 8 to 10ft tall. [00:38:40] Speaker B: Whoa, feet. [00:38:42] Speaker C: Feet. 8 to 10ft tall. And it's like. It's fiberglass. You have to wear full long sleeves, gloves, full pants. Like you can't have any skin showing or else it'll like cut you up pretty good. [00:38:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:59] Speaker C: It's. It's. It's crazy how much vegetation is in there. There's inside all the kangaroo. There's. There's a big portion of the property that has a bunch of trees. Mango, giant mango trees. Probably like 50 to 60 year old mango trees. Avocado trees. We found guava trees inside there. There's papayas, there's coffee plants. Inside all the cane grass. There's tunnels that were made by all the boar that run through. [00:39:32] Speaker B: Oh, cool. [00:39:33] Speaker C: We'll have boar on the property. So we'll have like smoked meats. We'll have. We'll have the. [00:39:41] Speaker D: You guys are gonna throw the best music festival in the world. [00:39:44] Speaker B: Oh my gosh. [00:39:45] Speaker C: We're not gonna be throwing music. Properties are retreat or not. We'll have friends. We'll have friends over. We'll have parties, but we're not. We're not throwing like anything crazy. [00:39:56] Speaker D: Okay, fine. We could have a pig rose though. [00:39:58] Speaker C: We'll have a pig roast. Yeah, we'll have. [00:40:00] Speaker B: I love it. A luau. That's do it. Oh my God. [00:40:03] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:40:04] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:04] Speaker D: Awesome. [00:40:05] Speaker B: I've never been to Hawaii and it's like definitely on my list. I've never been supposed to go. [00:40:10] Speaker D: And then covet happened. [00:40:11] Speaker B: I know we had to cancel it because of COVID but yeah. Crazy one day. But that's so exciting. Congratulations. [00:40:17] Speaker C: Yeah, give us. Give us like a year and a half to two years so that we can build us our house and kind of develop the property a little bit. And we'll love to have all our friends come visit. Visit us. [00:40:29] Speaker B: I wish it was closer. We could have like a barn raising party. But there's no way you can do that all the way. Get everybody out there and I mean, you can do it there. That. I always wanted to do something like that with a new house or a new build. Like have people come over and kind of like just help you build it and throw together a cute little party. I think that's so fun. [00:40:45] Speaker D: That would be fun. Anyway, you guys have community there too, right? [00:40:49] Speaker C: Yeah, we do. I mean, like I said, Sam's got her whole family there. She has a lot of childhood friends. Friends that still live there. [00:40:55] Speaker B: Like, that's wonderful. [00:40:56] Speaker C: Like I said, our friend Kai, childhood friend of Sam's, he helped us purchase the property. And our friend Casey, he's gonna help us clear the lot and kind of help with getting the building process started. And yeah, we got. We got a pretty good community over there. A lot of people that have done exactly what we're doing. They purchase property, it was all raw vegetation, they cleared it, they built their house, and they're starting to grow their, like, trees and gardens and all of that. A lot of, like, permaculture, a lot of cool organic farming. And no pesticides. [00:41:34] Speaker B: No, that's probably the most, like, the most interesting. Like, not the most interesting. Sorry. Let me say that again. I would love to learn a little bit more about how you guys do that, because I'm very interested in that, and I can't do that at my house. So if I can live vicariously through you guys while you're doing this, like, really cool. If you get into hydroponics, please give me a call. I'm, like, dying to do that. [00:41:55] Speaker C: Yeah, but I. I think I've talked to Sam about this. Like I said, she. She's not really big on, like, making a big public thing of anything, of course, just me. But I did bring it up to her that it would be really cool to whether it's. Start an Instagram account or a Facebook page or something, just to show the progress of the build and what we're doing and how we're doing things just to give other people resources for. When someone wants to do something similar. They can be like, oh, okay, this is how they went through the permitting process and the design and like, all these different things that really, the only resources you have is to talking to other people that had recently done it. [00:42:35] Speaker D: And also just for you guys, look back on and see how far you've come, see where the property started, document it. [00:42:40] Speaker B: You don't even have to take it public. You could just, like, keep it for yourself too, you know? [00:42:44] Speaker C: That's kind of nice, I think. I think we'll probably just make something small. Invite, not even invite. You know, just make a post and say, hey, we're doing this thing. If you're interested in following us, fantastic. Do it. We're not doing it for you, we're doing it for us. [00:42:58] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. I like that. That's wonderful. Well, Congratulations. Oh, you're literally living people's dreams. Like people like me who are stuck in the office in fucking freezing cold Portland. Dream about just buying acreage and spending my time outside. [00:43:13] Speaker C: You know, you can go do it. [00:43:15] Speaker B: No, I can't. I have to pay for this stupid house. Are you kidding me? This is a crazy expensive house. This is my. This was the dream. Let's all talk about it. [00:43:25] Speaker C: That's your dream, then that's your dream. If this is not your dream anymore, change your dream. [00:43:30] Speaker B: I know I need to. [00:43:31] Speaker C: It's. It's crazy because I. You know, like I said, we thought that this was a 2027 plan. Yeah, 2026. Like, beginning of 2026 plan. [00:43:40] Speaker D: So it happened fast. [00:43:41] Speaker C: It happened very fast. It was. I'm still kind of, like, holding on to Ben. I'm like, no, I don't want to go yet. I don't want to go yet. Can we come back in May so that I could be with my friends here again? [00:43:56] Speaker D: Well, we're not ready for you to leave either. [00:43:59] Speaker B: No. [00:43:59] Speaker D: When are you leaving? Change. [00:44:01] Speaker C: But when are we leaving? So I start work February 23rd and Kona. So our plan is to move. Our initial move, which is going to be like, whatever we can bring on a planet, on a plane. We. We fly out January 30th. We're taking our dogs, and then whatever check luggage we can bring, we'll be there for two months, February and March. And then with my contract with the county of Hawaii, I worked out that I would have April and May off. So we plan on taking April and traveling a little bit in Southeast Asia. [00:44:44] Speaker B: Nice. [00:44:44] Speaker C: Both of us are really big into scuba diving. And so there's a couple places in Southeast Asia that both Sam and I want to go scuba dive. One of my friends, Nate, before I moved to Bend, I went on a. Nate owns a boat. He's got a YouTube channel, whole thing. [00:45:02] Speaker B: I totally remember you talking about this. Go ahead. [00:45:04] Speaker C: So he's right now in the Philippines. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Nice. [00:45:08] Speaker C: And so he's planning on being somewhere in Indonesia during the time that we're going to be in Southeast Asia. So I'm hoping that maybe we can link up and maybe we could jump on his boat for a week or two and then go off on our own again. So we'll see what happens. I'll be back in California end of April for my dad's 70th and my mom's birthday as well, because they. Their birthdays are one after each other, one day after each other. [00:45:37] Speaker B: Oh, that's Nice. That's easy. [00:45:39] Speaker C: Then probably spend a little time with them down in Southern California. [00:45:42] Speaker B: Nice. [00:45:43] Speaker C: And then come up here to Oregon to kind of organize the rest of our stuff. We're hoping to have all our stuff out of the house by the end of this month into the garage and then rent out the house minus the garage to somebody. So if you know some good renters, February and March, April, May onwards, we looking for tenants. [00:46:08] Speaker D: And then the ether. [00:46:10] Speaker C: And then, yeah, come back in May, kind of organize everything that we want to keep in Bend. In Bend. And then have a pile of stuff that we're going to put in a shipping container in end of May and then get it all shipped out of Seattle or Tacoma end of May and then fly out. [00:46:29] Speaker D: Nice. [00:46:30] Speaker C: So I think we're getting a 40 foot shipping container so that my truck can go in it. [00:46:35] Speaker B: That was my next question. [00:46:37] Speaker D: Oh, yeah. [00:46:39] Speaker C: And then. So that takes up like half of that container. And then the other half's gonna be whatever bins and furniture and recreational toys that we want to bring with us. [00:46:50] Speaker B: Is that like a big sea train, like on the boat, or is it like a pod that gets shipped on a boat? [00:46:56] Speaker C: It'll be like one of the. What is it like a matson container? Like a big 40 foot Matson container. [00:47:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:47:04] Speaker C: And usually that takes like, it doesn't take two months to get from Tacoma to Hawaii, but like it could be up to two months that the containers sit in. One waiting to be put on a boat and then gets put on a boat. [00:47:17] Speaker B: Oh, boy. [00:47:18] Speaker C: So damn. [00:47:21] Speaker B: That whole shipping logistics nightmare is shenanigans. [00:47:25] Speaker C: But yeah, it's something that's been causing Sam and I a lot of like, logistical maneuvering because she needs certain things for her work there in February. And so we're trying to like, figure out how and what we can live without for two months. [00:47:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:47:43] Speaker C: Or four months. Really. Because it'll be February to May and then what things we need to bring with us. And like. Yeah, all of that. It's. It's a lot of logistics, a lot of. A lot of communication. [00:47:57] Speaker D: I was going to say that's a good, good learning. [00:48:00] Speaker B: It's good exercise and communicating. Yeah, totally. [00:48:03] Speaker C: Because there was there we came up on this situation where in my head, I had planned it all out. [00:48:11] Speaker D: Oh, okay. Without telling her. [00:48:13] Speaker C: And then I thought, I thought she knew what was going on in my head. [00:48:18] Speaker D: Yep. [00:48:20] Speaker C: I was like, what do you mean we're doing this? And she's like, what? When did we talk about this? I'm like, Oh, I. I guess we haven't talked about it. It's just been in my head. I'm sorry. Just didn't come out. We should talk about this. What was your expectation? She's like, oh, I was expecting to have everything in a shipping container at the end of January. I was like, oh, that was not my plan. [00:48:49] Speaker B: Damn. [00:48:49] Speaker C: And so we kind of, like, talked about reasonings for each other's thoughts and all that. [00:48:56] Speaker B: And. [00:48:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:48:59] Speaker D: Now you're here. [00:48:59] Speaker C: Now we're here. [00:49:00] Speaker D: Now we're here. [00:49:01] Speaker B: I'm so excited for you. It's gonna be incredible. Incredible. I know. Scary logistically. It sounds like a nightmare. But just imagine where you guys are going to be after going through this, like, you know, sticky situation. You just keep communicating. It seems like you guys are on the same page. It's so awesome. So, so happy for you. [00:49:19] Speaker C: I mean, it's. It's gonna be, you know, it's gonna be the four months until we can find like a. A year to year and a half rental unit to live in. And then things are going to kind. [00:49:31] Speaker D: Of, like, balance out. [00:49:32] Speaker C: Hopefully they're going to settle down a little bit. Then it's just going to be planning and constructing the house is going to be kind of like the big challenge. And then once we're in the house, obviously there's going to be more challenges that come up as they do building. We'll find out. We'll find ways to make our lives more complex than they need to be. But these are our complexities. [00:49:56] Speaker B: I love that, though. [00:49:59] Speaker D: And that's. We need to frame that for Jaro, and that's on life's complexities. [00:50:05] Speaker B: Wow. Should we switch to gratitudes and grievances? I'm starving. Andrew hasn't made dinner yet. [00:50:12] Speaker C: How dare you? Andrew? [00:50:16] Speaker D: Yeah, he's a trans. I need a pee too. [00:50:18] Speaker B: Okay. [00:50:18] Speaker D: I need to go to bed. It's past my. It's like my bedtime. [00:50:21] Speaker B: What are you talking about? It's 8:30. [00:50:24] Speaker C: Oh, my God. You're an old lady. [00:50:25] Speaker D: I had to get up at 5:45am Guys. [00:50:28] Speaker C: What time do you start work? [00:50:29] Speaker D: 6:30. [00:50:30] Speaker C: You start work at 6:30? [00:50:32] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:50:32] Speaker C: Ouch. Okay. [00:50:33] Speaker B: I know. [00:50:33] Speaker C: You do. I'm sorry. [00:50:35] Speaker D: It's okay. And I'm glad you wanted to come over and hang out. [00:50:40] Speaker B: Yeah. It's so wonderful to see you catch. [00:50:42] Speaker D: Up on the couch and, like, talk, chat with your friends, you know what I mean? [00:50:46] Speaker C: Yeah, totally. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Can we skip grievances and just be grateful for Jaro and have having all. [00:50:51] Speaker D: This time with him yeah, absolutely. We're grateful for Jaro for coming on the pod again and wanting to spend time with us before he leaves. [00:50:59] Speaker C: I'm grateful for you guys having me. I was glad that we got to kind of, like, come full circle with us. [00:51:05] Speaker B: Totally. [00:51:08] Speaker C: Single, annoyed with the dating life, individuals to finding our loves and being in, like, a very good. [00:51:16] Speaker B: It hasn't even been a year. Like, maybe just manifesting that energy and, like, wanting that for yourself, and then not even a year later, look at where you are. [00:51:23] Speaker D: Yeah, that's true. [00:51:24] Speaker B: It's incredible. [00:51:25] Speaker D: Crazy. 2025, like we talked about, was a show and also great at the same time for me. Oh, great. [00:51:32] Speaker C: Yeah. I have nothing to complain about. [00:51:34] Speaker B: 2025. Oh, you lucky duck. [00:51:36] Speaker D: Congratulations. [00:51:39] Speaker C: Some years are like that. 2024 was really hard for me. 25 was incredible. [00:51:45] Speaker D: You know, good, odd numbers, and I'm only even numbers. [00:51:50] Speaker C: Remember that word, dichotomy? [00:51:52] Speaker B: Huh? [00:51:53] Speaker C: That's it. It's the dichotomy of life. You got to have the good with the bad. [00:51:57] Speaker B: That's how you frame it. The dichotomy of life. Yes. [00:52:02] Speaker D: Yeah, for sure. But thank you for coming. [00:52:05] Speaker C: Absolutely. [00:52:06] Speaker B: Thanks for being candid with us. [00:52:07] Speaker D: We love it with us. [00:52:09] Speaker B: I hope that we have you back on the pod, but we'll have to see what that looks like in the future and. [00:52:14] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe we'll have to do it from Hawaii. [00:52:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, we just could totally do that. And then you can walk me around your garden. [00:52:20] Speaker C: What's. What's. Once we get the house built. Let's do that. [00:52:23] Speaker B: I love that. Full circle again. Yeah, I love it. Well, thanks for being candid. [00:52:28] Speaker C: A year and a half, but we'll get it. Maybe even during construction. If we get Starlink, we could do it during construction. Yeah. [00:52:35] Speaker D: Let's check in once a year and see where you're at. [00:52:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:38] Speaker B: Yeah, I like it. Just once a year. I'm here for it. Maybe more than that, but anyway. Okay, I gotta go. Thanks for being candid, everybody. We love you. That's all for today's episode. [00:52:53] Speaker D: Hope you enjoyed listening as much as we love you. [00:52:55] Speaker B: Follow us on Instagram. Candidly. 30. [00:52:57] Speaker D: See you next week, bitches. [00:53:15] Speaker B: Sam.